


COMPETITIVE BY NATURE

by alizarin_nyc



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-20
Updated: 2011-05-20
Packaged: 2017-10-19 15:36:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/202433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alizarin_nyc/pseuds/alizarin_nyc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“Oh come on, that isn’t gay," Steve says. "I was in high school. You’re gay, you’re totally gayer than me. Your pants are tight across the ass!” Steve has his little protesty face on and it’s exactly like his earnest, don’t-worry-we’ll-catch-your-husband’s-killer face. It is so, so gay.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	COMPETITIVE BY NATURE

“Oh. My. God,” Danny says, and Kono raises her eyebrow at his vehemence. “Steve McGarrett,” he continues. He shakes his head. “That is so gay.”

“What?” Steve looks up from his Corona (and by the way, how gay is Corona?) and blinks at Danny. Danny shrugs and looks at Chin for backup.

“Gay. So damn gay. Gayer than Liberace on a Love Boat, that’s what. You are the campiest mother fucker I’ve ever met.” Okay, good, Chin is laughing and Kono is smiling. That’s all Danny asks for on any given day. To make his teammates smile and save their lives when necessary.

“Oh come on, that isn’t gay," Steve says. "I was in high school. You’re gay, you’re totally gayer than me. Your pants are tight across the ass!” Steve has his little protesty face on and it’s exactly like his earnest, don’t-worry-we’ll-catch-your-husband’s-killer face. It is so, so gay.

“My pants. Fit me fine. Don’t worry about my pants, Steve,” Danny says, “In fact, why are you looking at my ass? That’s gay. That’s definitely gay.”

“You guys have had too many beers,” Kono says.

“Yeah, let’s get the check,” Chin says.

“Party poopers! Seriously?” Danny is incredulous. It’s Friday night and he’s only had eight beers. He’s just getting warmed up.

“It’s been a long week and you guys are just going to take it all out on each other,” Kono says. She gives them her patented eyeroll. “I’m going to go watch _Fringe_.” She smooths out some bills and sticks them under a set of silverware so they don’t blow away in the Hawaiian breeze. “Aloha,” she says, and grabs Chin, who wants to watch _Fringe_ , too. Season finale or something, Danny doesn’t care, hasn’t cared about a series since The Sopranos.

“Why are they so cranky?” Steve says. He shoves a fistful of fries into his mouth and frowns. “You’d think we offended them.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Danny says. “They’re not offended, just tired of your schlocky bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit, man. Also, it was high school. Can’t I tell funny stories that don’t clear the room every time?”

“No,” Danny says. “No, no you cannot. Stop eating all the fries. I am the storyteller, people only want stories from me. Your stories always end with ‘and the rest is classified.’ And that is so gay.”

Steve snorts. “ _Everything_ is gay with you tonight, Danno, somethin’ you wanna tell me?”

And yes, yes there is something Danny wants to tell Steve. That he thinks he’s the most amazing person ever and he really makes Danny happy. And that their friendship is great, really great, but when Danny’s had a few, he thinks about how hot it would be to kiss Steve and feel him up a little and _that?_ That, is very, very, disturbingly gay.

“My pants are not too tight,” is all Danny manages to say, and it’s petulant at best, but Steve laughs loud and bright and drinks his beer and so Danny laughs too. Their fingers brush as they both reach into the fry basket, and they pull back at the same time. “Gay,” Danny says, matter-of-fact.

“So gay,” Steve agrees. “You know what else is gay?”

“No, what? Your tight t-shirts?”

“Ha ha, no. That thing you do like this,” Steve makes the _I heart you_ sign, but does the heart really big and silly. “Gay.”

“Oh shut up. You were injured, man, I was trying to make you laugh.”

“Seriously?”

“Okay, okay, it was gay. And I did not make the heart that big, you’re just being ridiculous.”

“Well, I couldn’t do it back to you then, I had a broken arm. But I would have done it bigger.”

Danny’s very glad he’s not the type of guy who blushes right about now. “You were trussed up like a chicken,” he confirms.

“That’s a hell of a mental image, Danno.”

“Stop with the _Danno_ already, what have I told you? Also, nicknames? So gay.”

“Okay, we’re even, we’re even!” Steve throws up his hands in protest.

“We’re not _even_ , jesus, look, how can anyone get drunk on Coronas? It’s like beer Koolaid. _Gay_.”

“I’m not drunk,” Steve says, his smile still wide. “I have to drive. Let’s be totally gay though and go back to my place for more beers.”

Danny throws up his hands as if to say, _see?_ but they usually end up at Steve’s place anyway, with or without Kono and Chin, and it’s Friday, so it’s practically a law. “Let’s go. But if you even think about doing any race car shenanigans on those three beers, you’re pulling over and I’m walking the rest of the way.”

They bicker in the car about the music first, then about Steve’s clumsy stutter-stop at a red light. Then they return to Steve’s story about how he was into Barbra Streisand in high school.

“But seriously,” Danny says, “You do know that is code for gay. You do know that, right? Whether or not you turned into the macho man I see before me, that is essentially, the first sign of gay.”

“I’m aware, Danny. And thanks for thinking I’m macho. That really means a lot.”

“I was being facetious, Steven. Facetious. You’re a little girly, for the record, when you’re not pulling a gun on someone, throwing them in a shark tank or dangling them off a building.”

“Don’t I get points for that stuff? Like, straight points or something?”

“Um. Yeah. But no. _Still_.”

“Well, you’re the expert,” Steve cracks, and swerves into his driveway.

“Watch it!” Danny shouts. He realizes he is ready for more beer. He jumps out of the car and makes a beeline for the door.

As he passes through, Steve ninjas up behind him and swats his ass.

“How’s that for gay?” Steve asks.

“No words, my friend, no words,” Danny replies, a little bit shocked. He moves to the kitchen. Retribution is clearly in order. He turns around and reaches out and runs his fingers down Steve’s bicep in a clear come-on. “But that. That is even more gay. Just so you know.”

Danny isn’t sure at all when this whole thing turned around one-hundred-and-eighty degrees to be about who’s gayer rather than who’s not gay at all.

“That is pretty gay,” Steve says admiringly, and he tries the same thing, but uses his whole hand to run over the length of Danny’s bicep. His breath might be just a little faster, Danny’s not sure. Danny puts his hand on Steve’s neck.

“You could be looking for my pulse, so that’s not necessarily gay,” Steve murmurs. Danny nods assent. Still, he runs his thumb along the edge of Steve’s jaw.

“Better?” Danny asks. Steve’s eyes look a little glassy. “I can go gayer if you think this doesn’t quite cut it.”

“I think... I think... yeah. No. No, I think we can make this interesting. I mean, we should’ve put money down on this, I can totally beat you at the gay.”

“Okay, it’s on,” Danny says, and now _he’s_ a little breathless. “Winner gets to drive and pick the music for a month. Loser shuts his pie hole.” He’s still got his hand on Steve’s neck and Steve still has his hand on Danny’s bicep and they’re _stroking_ each other. Danny could have bet the farm and still risked losing; his head is _that_ twisted around. “I can be gayer than you.”

“I’m pretty sure, given my track record with Barbra, that you cannot,” Steve says, and he turns his head and sucks Danny’s thumb into his mouth. Danny’s knees buckle and _yes_ that is the gayest thing he’s ever seen. It’s also the hottest. He is going to have to up his game. He is going to have to bring his A game and his star players and his whole bench for that matter, red shirts and all.

There’s only one problem. He’s not gay. He’s never been gay. Until he met Steve, until he started to have _feelings_ for Steve, fucking Steve McGarrett and his stupid sexy smile and his body and his brain and _Danny is the dumbest late-blooming gay-for-his-partner guy that ever lived._

Danny realizes he’s been staring at Steve’s mouth and the way that Steve is sucking on Danny’s thumb like it’s a... well, better not to think about that just yet. He moves his other hand around to Steve’s ass and tries to think. What would Adam Lambert do? He begins to caress said ass, moving in slow, sexy circles, squeezing and then pulling their bodies closer together. That seems nice, and it’s pretty gay as these things go.

“Okay, you’re good, Danno, you’re good, I see I’m going to get a run for my money.”

“You betcha,” is all Danny can come up with. Where is one’s razor-sharp wit when one really needs it? Does being gay make you lose your ability to mouth off? Danny can’t even think about the consequences. Eyes on the prize, he reminds himself.

Before he can think about how to one-up his competition, Steve is pushing him back until he hits a wall and presses his mouth to Danny’s. It’s not gay, and it’s certainly not straight. It is, however, fantastic. Steve’s mouth is hot and intense and tastes like fries and sweet ketchup. One of Danny’s hands is cupping Steve’s face, the other is cupping his ass and Danny could easily stay here, pinned against a wall, if Steve will just keep doing that with his tongue. But Steve is in full-court press mode and he moves to Danny’s neck and his fingers are quickly undoing Danny’s shirt buttons. Danny groans.

“I’m sensing an unfair advantage, here,” Danny admits. “What was I thinking listening to Rush in High School?”

“Broadway musicals,” Steve says in between licks and bites to Danny’s torso. “Better for this kind of thing. He’s not wrong, as Danny’s head is spinning and he has completely lost the race for dominance as his belt is unbuckled and his pants fall to his ankles. Steve sinks down and starts mouthing his erection through his boxers. “You probably didn’t realize you were up against a shark.”

“A gay shark,” Danny says dubiously, “Ah, like a pool shark only gay. No, no I did not, and...” the rest of his words are lost in incoherence as Steve slides Danny’s boxers down and even the feel of the elastic against his calves is part of the overall sensation overload Danny is experiencing. “Oh god, Steve, god.” Steve’s tongue swipes the head of his cock and Danny will be listening to golden oldies for a goddamn month, but he doesn’t care as Steve’s mouth slides all the way down, and then he swallows around Danny. “That is, oh wow. Gay.” He has a fleeting moment of remorse at the thought that Steve really _is_ , apparently, gay, or bisexual, _whatever_ , because he has clearly, so very clearly, done this before. A lot. He is like a ninja of blowjobs, a Navy SEAL of blowjobs, an expert at counterterrorism and blowjobs.

Danny comes with a hard shudder and doesn’t even bother to push Steve’s head away because there wouldn’t be time. And he’s not sure he could move Steve anyway, the man has the kind of suction on Danny’s dick that is a force to be reckoned with. Danny finally doubles over, gasping and spent.

“Danny,” Steve says, his voice raspy with sex, “Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do that?”

“Since high school?” Danny asks.

“You know I got laid in high school by the hottest girl in the school. You know that?”

Danny puts his hands on Steve’s shoulders. Never has he seen his partner look so comfortable and he’s on his goddamn knees, his mouth red and wrecked. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say, Steven.”

“I’m saying, shut the fuck up, Danno, and undress me. Oh and also?” Steve cocks an eyebrow up at him. “I win.”

Danny’s competitive streak comes back with a vengeance. He hauls Steve to his feet and kisses him, slow and dirty, and that’s _weird_ because of what Steve just did, but whatever. There are _things_ at stake. Danny steps out of his shoes, pants and boxers so he feels slightly less ridiculous. He strips off Steve’s t-shirt and fumbles at his jeans. Steve toes off his own shoes but lets Danny do the jeans bit, and Danny thinks smugly how Steve’s jeans are _tight_ , and that is totally, well, it’s _hot_ , okay.

Danny spins Steve around and makes him face the wall. “Hands on the wall,” he says, and then for added measure, as if this whole night wasn’t completely surreal already, he says, “Spread ‘em.”

Steven groans low in his throat and complies, and _that is interesting._ Danny files that away for later: Steve McGarrett likes to be manhandled. He gets off on a little reverse role-play. And there are handcuffs, probably several sets in Steve’s house. Christ. Danny has to focus. He cannot be having cops and robbers fantasies right now. He winds his arms around Steve and it’s all second nature from there. He can do to Steve what he likes to do to himself. One hand on Steve’s cock and one hand squeezing his balls. Steve moves a bit and Danny bites out, “stay still.”

Danny fits himself to Steve’s back and _that_ is very gay because his cock presses against Steve’s ass and stirs a bit, which Danny can hardly believe after the orgasm he just had. He starts a slow stroke, there’s no lube, so he licks his palm and works some pre-come over the head of Steve’s cock. It’s not even weird, it just feels good, and Steve is breathing heavily, his head has dropped down and he shifts so his legs are even wider. Danny pulls a little on his balls and strokes faster.

“God, Danno,” Steve says. “Fuck yeah. Faster.” Danny complies and Steve arches back into him, a long, low moan pulled out from his chest, come spilling over Danny’s hand. Steve reaches back and grips Danny’s head. “God, Danny, God,” he keeps saying.

“What the hell is this?” Danny can’t help but ask. “What the fuck are we doing?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know,” Steve says. He turns around then yanks Danny out of the kitchen and into the living room where he pushes Danny on the couch and flops down nearly on top of him. “Can’t I ride out the afterglow before we start with the second guessing?”

“Yeah, sorry, um.”

“After all, loser shuts his pie hole.”

“I did not lose!” Danny protests. He would sit up in indignation but he’s practically trapped under Steve and it’s hard to be indignant when you’re naked. You don’t have to be gay to know that.

“So you’re saying that you don’t agree with the results - which make me the clear winner, by the way - and you want... what? A rematch?”

“Definitely a rematch. Best two out of three,” Danny says. And wait, what? Did he just agree to _more gay sex?_ The look on Steve’s face can only be described as smug.

“Three out of five?” Steve suggests.

“You can make it whatever you want, you’re still going to lose.”

Steve leans down so that Danny can feel stubble scraping his ear. And _hello_ , still trapped under a naked McGarrett, and not actually freaking out. This is new.

“You’re going to give in,” Steve promises. “You’re going to beg me to be the winner.”

“Oh yeah?” Danny asks, suddenly breathless. He may have also just realized how out of his depth he is. He may have just realized what _fucking another guy_ entails. “Care to fill me in on how exactly you’re going to manage that?” He wants to know but he doesn’t want to know.

What he doesn’t want to do is run for the door.

Oh yeah, he’s not just kind of gay. He’s totally screwed.

“I’m sorry, Danno,” Steve says earnestly, kissing him on the lips and letting his mouth linger for a bit. “But the rest is classified.”

  



End file.
